Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
What drink are we having for lunch?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
