I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
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