In the future we'll all be gay
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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