Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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