How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
