He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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