Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Sacagawea was the original milf.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
