did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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