it was like his penis was on wheels.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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