is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
