ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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