hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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