I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
