Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
