There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
