im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
