Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
