you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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