Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
