it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
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