i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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