I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
