We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Can you bring me the toilet please
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
