Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
