; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
