worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize