i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
