dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
