Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize