he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
