I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
