is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I did not marry a roomba.
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