Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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