it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
