My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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