I molested 6 butterflies tonight
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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