I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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