Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
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He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
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Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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