Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
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truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
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I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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