I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize