when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
