just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
