I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
