someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize