I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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