I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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