i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize