btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Bring me that man meat
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
