she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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