you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
