I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize