just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
