An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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