i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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