Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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