Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
