Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
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the room spins SO much faster in panama
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
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My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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