I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
