When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
