so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
